Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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