so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
