im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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