I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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