I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
