Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize