i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
