is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My dick has a subreddit
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
