I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
