I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
