so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
