Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I need water and some morals
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
