He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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