I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
