? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
nutella sex= disaster
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
