that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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