you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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