At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
