I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
