I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
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i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
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I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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