I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
