sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
