Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
