id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize