before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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