Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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