i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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