My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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