from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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