I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
