areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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