Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
