Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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