This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
