Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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