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Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
