I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Randomize
