In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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