After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she woke up with a sticky ear
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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