Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
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hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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