Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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