I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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