buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize