So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
