Quick, to the slutcave!
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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