I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
