Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
