between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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