I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize