can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
