i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
