Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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