I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
