she looked like the bat from fern gully.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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