I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
At least make sure they are 18
Why
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
