Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
