Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
