This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
