and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
