my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
