The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She bit a glass in half.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
