So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
