areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
