im drinking this country out of the recession.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
