he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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