dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
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Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
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Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The uberlube is also flammable
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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