Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Sorry about my life...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize