I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
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After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
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I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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