I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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