i jhust puked up my retainher.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize